WITZ DES TAGES

Kommt ein Mann zum Arzt: "Herr Doktor, ich habe Schmerzen am ganzen Körper. Wenn ich mir mit dem Finger an den Kopf tippe, schmerzt es, wenn ich mir an den Hals tippe, schmerzt es. Das gleiche an Brust, Bauch und Beinen. Können Sie mir helfen?" Arzt: "Eine Frage, Ihrem Dialekt nach sind Sie Österreicher?" Mann: "Ja, warum?" Arzt: "Dann weiss ich schon, was los ist. Sie haben sich den Finger gebrochen."

JOKE OF THE WEEK/WITZ DER WOCHE

An 80 year old man went for his annual check-up and the Doctor said "Friend, for your age, you're in the best shape I've seen." The old fella replied, "Yep. It comes from clean living. I know for sure that I live a good, clean, spiritual life." The Doctor ask him, "What makes you say that?" The old man replied, "If I didn't live a good, clean life, the Lord wouldn't turn the bathroom lights on for me every time I get up in the middle of the night." The Doc was concerned, "You mean, when you get up in the night to go to the bathroom, the Lord himself turns the light on for you?" "Yep," the old man said, "whenever I get up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for me." Well, the Doctor didn't say anything else, but when the old man's wife came in for her check-up, he felt he had to let her know what her husband said. "Your husband's in fine physical shape, but I'm worried about his mental condition. He told me that every night when he gets up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for him. " "He What?" She cried. "He said that every night when he gets up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for him." "AHA!!" She exclaimed.......... "So he's the one who's been peeing in the fridge!"

Joke of the day/Witz des Tages

Ein Einwohner aus Stockholm fährt zur Entenjagd aufs Land. Als er eine Ente sieht, zielt er und schießt. Doch der Vogel fällt auf den Hof eines Bauern, und der rückt die Beute nicht heraus. "Das ist mein Vogel", besteht der Städter auf seinem Recht. Der Bauer schlägt vor, den Streit, wie auf dem Land üblich, mit einem Tritt in den Unterleib beizulegen. "Wer weniger schreit, kriegt den Vogel." Der Städter ist einverstanden. Der Bauer holt aus und landet einen gewaltigen Tritt in den Weichteilen des Mannes. Der bricht zusammen und bleibt 20 Minuten am Boden liegen. Als er wieder aufstehen kann, keucht er: "Okay, jetzt bin ich dran." "Nee", sagt der Bauer im Weggehen. "Hier, nehmen Sie die Ente."

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A resident of Stockholm goes to the duck hunting in the country. When he sees a duck, he aims and shoots. But the bird falls into the courtyard of a farmer, and brings out not the prey. "That's my bird," consists of the cities on its own. The farmer proposes to dispute, as is customary in the country to settle with a kick in the groin. "Who cries less, get the bird." The townspeople agree. The farmer gets out and lands a huge kick in the soft tissues of the man. The collapse and remains 20 minutes on the ground. When he can stand up again, he gasps: "Okay, now my turn." "No," the farmer says as he walks away. "Here, take the duck."

Joke of the day/Witz des Tages

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”

Joke of the week / Witz des tages

Sixirkii kismayo

Sanadkii 1974  ololihii barashada far soomaaliga aya laba ardey oo reer waqooyi ah loo diray gobolka jubada hoose ee kismaayo. waxaa laga dhaadhiciyey labadan arday in Kismaayo dadka lagu sixro oo waliba xoolo laga dhigo (dameer ama dibi ama wan). Waxay iska dhaaghiciyeen in haddi gabari ku jeclaato ay xayawaan ka dhigeyso si u weligiis uga tegin marka fejignaan saa’id ah ayey qabeen.

Labadii wiil hal qol ayey wada kireysteen ayago iska jira dhibatada kismaayo ku can baxday oo ah sixirka, oo weliba midba midka kale ayu ilaalo xoogan ka haya.

Habeen habeenada ka mid ah ayey qayilaad u fariisteen, waqti dambe ayaa sigaarkii ka go’ay, dabadeed mid baa yiri “I yara sug dukaanka ino dhaw ayaan sigaar nooga soo qabanayaye. Markii u tegey dukaanka ayu gabar kula kulmay, dabadeedna sheeko dheer ayu camirtay. Wiilkii kale ayaa daahsaday markaas ayu dibada u soo baxay. Wuxu arkay dameer guriga agtiisa daaqaya, intu naxay ayu wuxu u maleeyey saxibkiis oo dameer laga soo dhigay.

markaasuu dameerkii intuu u tagay ku yiri, Miyeey ku badaleen ma sidaan eyey kuu galeen wallaweyntii, halkeen adaa bal aqalka soo gal su dameerkii u riixaayay markii danbe dameerkii ayaa kacararay asoo yaaban ayuu aqalkii kusoo laabtay asagoo dhafoorada heysta ayaa waxaa albaabka soo garaacay saxiibkii oo ey la socoto gabadhii ey dukaanka isku soo barteen markuu kafuray ayuu yiri, “miyey hadana sidaadii kugu soo celisey, waa ilaah mahadii, oo ma tii ayaa ku daba socoto oo hadeer dameerka kaa dhigatay, naa na dhaaf haddad allaha taqaan”.