Fremdgehen
"Anfang der Ehe deponierte die Frau unter ihrem Bett eine Schachtel und meinte zu ihrem Mann: "Du musst mir versprechen, dass du nie in diese Schachtel schaust". All die Jahre hielt sich der Mann an sein Versprechen. Nach 40 Jahren Ehe hielt er es nicht langer aus und öffnete die Schachtel. Darin befanden sich 3 leere Flaschen Bier und 12.035 Euro in Münzen und kleinen Scheinen. Voller Verwunderung legte er die Schachtel wieder unters Bett. Am Abend in einem vornehmen Restaurant bei Kerzenschein und romantischer Stimmung brach er sein Schweigen und fragte seine Frau: "40 Jahre habe ich mein Versprechen gehalten. Aber heute habe ich die Schachtel unter dem Bett geöffnet und nachgesehen. Bitte erkläre mir den Inhalt". Sie antwortete: "Jedes Mal wenn ich dich betrogen habe, habe ich danach eine Flasche Bier getrunken und die leere Flasche in die Schachtel gelegt." Der Mann schwieg erstaunt und dachte bei sich: "In all den Jahren war ich sehr oft unterwegs auf Dienstreisen, da sind die 3x wirklich nicht so schlimm und ich glaube, ich kann ihr das verzeihen." Etwas später allerdings fiel ihm noch der ominöse Geldbetrag ein und er meinte zu seiner Frau: "Was ist eigentlich mit dem Geld in der Schachtel?" "Na ja, jedes Mal, wenn die Schachtel voll war, habe ich die Pfandflaschen zurückgebracht!"
Cheating
"At the beginning of the marriage the woman deposited a box under her bed and said to her husband:" You must promise me that you never look in that box "All these years what the man of his promise after 40 years of marriage, he .. no longer held it and opened the box. In it were 3 empty bottles of beer and € 12,035 in coins and small bills. Full of surprise, he put the box back under the bed. On the evening in a restaurant make with candlelight and romantic mood, he broke his silence and asked his wife: "40 years I have kept my promise. But today I opened the box under the bed and looked up Please explain to me the contents "She replied:" .. Every time when I have deceived you, then I drank a bottle of beer and placed the empty bottle in the box "The man was amazed and thought to himself:" In all the years. I was very often away on business trips, as are the 3x really not that bad and I think I can forgive her the "little later but it was still the ominous amount of money and he said to his wife:" What's up with the money in the box? "" Well, every time the box was full, I've brought back the returnable bottles! "himself:" In all the years. I was very often away on business trips, as are the 3x really not that bad and I think I can forgive her the "little later but it was still the ominous amount of money and he said to his wife:" What's up with the money in the box? "" Well, every time the box was full, I've brought back the changes from the returnable bottles! "
HALAAGII LOOMA KALA HARIN
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsGGYlWMOeE&w=425&h=300]
A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"
dhalinyaradii dagaaladii xamar ku aqliyeysatay (mooryaan)mid ka mid ah aya maalin maalmaha ka mid ah qaad soo qaatay, dabadeed wuxu la fariistay geed talaal ah oo gurigooda ku hor yaal;
<a href="http://ahmedabtidon.wordpress.com/2011/05/02/joke-of-the-daywitz-des-tages/laughing-horse-5/" rel="attachment wp-att-103"><img src="http://ahmedabtidon.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/laughing-horse1.jpg" alt="" title="laughing horse" width="192" height="263" class="alignleft size-full wp-image-103" /></a>Markuu mirqaamay ayu wuxu soo xasuustay, gabar u jeclaa oo xafada la degen lakin waa u ka xishoodaa sababta oo ah waxaa dhalay wadaad dugsiga xafada quraanka ka dhiga. Yarkii sheekadii ayu aad uga fekerey dabadeed waxaa hor timid asagoo gabadhi inta balamiyey ay wada sheekeysteen, wax yar kadib gabadhi aya ureysatay, markaas ayey abbaheed ogaad in u asagu ureeyey. Wadaadkii gabadha dhalay ayaa habaaray wiilkii markaas ayu wiilkii dameer noqday. Dameerkii inta la raray oo 4 tanag la saaray ayaa xafadda loogu dhaamiyaa. Wuxu is yirah bal dadka u sheeg in aadan dameer ahayn ee wiilkii xafada tahay, markaasu sida dameerkii u ciyaa iiiiii-aaaa, iiiiiiii-aaaa, ninka biyaha ku dhaminayaana si xun ayu usha ula dhaca asaguna sida dameerkii ayu u qayliyaa, iiiiiii-aaaaa, iiiii-aaaa, ileen ma hadli karo oo waa dameere.
Habeenkii caws aya loo keena si u ucuno, marka u dadka u sheeg is yirah in usan dameer ahayna sida dameerkii ayu u ciyaa, iiiiiiii-aaaa, iiiiii-aaaa.
Wiilkii wuxu soo baraarugay asagoo iiiiiiii-aaaa, iiiiiiii-aaaaa leh iyo dadkii xafada oo dhan fiirsanaya ayagoo la yaaban oo leh ar mantay xaa igaargii ku dhacay, waa kan sida dameerkii u qaylinayee.
Xishood ayu wiilkii xafadii uga cararay.
Der Herr Schulrat inspizert die dritte Klasse und fragt nach Hauptwörtern. Der Max: 'Rindvieh!' Der Michel: ' Drecksau!' Der Rolf: ' Sauhund!' Der Schulrat ist schockiert und wendet sich an den Lehrer: 'Der Sinn ist zwar erfasst, aber erklären sie mir bitte, woher die Kinder diese Ausdrücke haben!' Darauf der Lehrer: 'Ich weiss auch nicht, was die Arschlöcher heute wieder haben!'
(ma haysa sheeko qosol leh? just i soo email garee)
ahmed.abtidon@gmail.com
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Nin reer sudan ah ayaa wuxu qabay xaas aad u qurux badan, dabadeed subax walba waxay rooti ka soo gadataa rootile yemani ah kaas oo gabadha quruxda badan ka helay.
Subax walba waa u shukaansadaa asagoo ku leh “gormaan kulanaa iyo xagee kugu imaadaa”? Naagtii ninka shukaansigiisi ayey qaati ka istaagtay oo aad u dhibsatay.
Maalinti dambe ninkeedi ayey u sheegtay dhibka rootilahu ku hayo, dabadeed ninkeedi aya ku yiri, cawa markaan lo’da soo xareynayo wax yar ka hor balami oo markaan imaado weylaha ku dhexdhuumo dheh ana shaqadiisa aqaane.
Sidii bay yeeshay oo ninkii rootilaha aha way balamisay, ninkii oo la jooga ayaaa ninkeedi banaanka ka soo qayley asagoo lo’dii wada. Markaasey ku tiri rootilihi war orod oo weylaha dhex gal haddi kale ninkaasi waa ku dilayaa. Sidii bu yeelay oo weylihii bu dhex galay. Ninkeedii baa u yeedhay oo yiri na heblaay kalay lo’da ii celi cawa weyl baan wasayaaye. Dabadeed weylihii ayu inta dhex galay ayu ninkii oo weyl iska dhigay wax aan la arag ku sameeyey.
Ayaanti dambe ninkii rootilaha ahaa naagtii waa u la hadli wayey, maalinti dambe ayey ku tiri “maxaa kugu dhacay beryahaan ilama hadleyside”.
Markaas u ku yiri “maxaan kula hadlaa weylo aadnaan lahyn baad wastaane”.
Haddu weyl wasayo ninkaagu ma kuwisa waso.
Ein Rabbi und ein Pfarrer sitzen nebeneinander…
Ein Rabbi und ein Pfarrer sitzen nebeneinander im Flugzeug. Die Stewardess bietet ein Glas Champagner an, woraufhin der Rabbi dankend annimmt. Der Pfarrer lehnt ab, mit den Worten:
“Vielen Dank, aber als Vertreter der katholischen Glaubenslehre darf ich weder Alkohol trinken noch den Geschlechtsverkehr ausüben.”
Darauf ruft der Rabbi die Stewardess noch mal zu sich und sagt:
“Verzeihen Sie, Fräulein, ich wusste nicht, dass ich die Wahl hatte..”
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A rabbi and a priest sitting next to each other…….
A rabbi and a priest sitting next to each other on the plane. The flight attendant offers a glass of champagne, after which the rabbi accepts gratefully. The priest refuses, saying:
“Thank you very much, but as representatives of the Catholic Faith, I must not drink alcohol or engage in the sexual intercourse.”
Then the rabbi calls the stewardess again and says to her:
“Excuse me, miss, I did not know that I had a choice ..”
Askeri Somali ah ayaa dagaalkii xabashida ee 77 ku soo dhawacmay dabadeed waxaa la keenay Isbitalka digfeer ee muqdishu ku yaal.
Dhawr cesho marku koma ku jiray ayu malintii dambe indhaha kala qaaday, markaasu nin dhinaciisa jiifay ku yiri “war xageen joogna”? ninkiiba ku yiri “akhiro ayan joogna”. Markaas ayu inta naxay yiri “oo naagahaas dharka cadi maxay yihin”?
“Waa mala’igo ayu ku jawwabay”. Markaas ayu yiri “oo ninkaas sariirta lagu riixayo xagee loo wada”? markaas ayu ku jawaabay “cadaabta aya loo wadaa”.
“oo anagu halkaan maxaan u jiifnaa”? markas ayu ku yiri “xukunkii ayan sugeyna”.
Dabadeed naxdin daraadeed ayu darishadii ka booday, asagoo is leh aad ka baxsatid.
Deutschlandkongress der Blondinen. 5000 Besucherinnen erleben die Endausscheidung der Wahl zur Miss Blondi. Conferencier: “Sie sind meine letzte Kandidatin. Wenn sie die Intelligenzfrage richtig beantworten bekommen Sie einen Mercedes: Wieviel ist 2 x 5?” Antwort:”11″.”Schade fast richtig”
5000 Blondinen rufen: “Gib Ihr eine Chance, gib Ihr eine Chance!!!”
“O.K. denken Sie nach. Wieviel ist 2 x 5?” Antwort: “10!!”
5000 Blondinen rufen: “Gib Ihr eine Chance!!”
Germany Congress of the blondes. 5000 visitors will experience the final round of the Miss Blondie. Facilitator: “You are my last candidate, if they answer the question correctly intelligence you get a Mercedes. How much is 2 x 5?” Answer: “11.” “Too bad almost right”
call 5000 blondes, “Give her a chance, give it a chance!”
“OK, you think. How much is 2 x 5?” Answer: “10!”
5000 blondes cry: “Give her a chance!”
After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization", a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.
Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"
Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"
Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question.
If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the exam. "
Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"
Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?"
Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed.
Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.
He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal.
The fact that you have given your wife's lover an "A", although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical."
BY AHMEDGUREY
