JOKE OF THE WEEK/WITZ DER WOCHE

An 80 year old man went for his annual check-up and the Doctor said "Friend, for your age, you're in the best shape I've seen." The old fella replied, "Yep. It comes from clean living. I know for sure that I live a good, clean, spiritual life." The Doctor ask him, "What makes you say that?" The old man replied, "If I didn't live a good, clean life, the Lord wouldn't turn the bathroom lights on for me every time I get up in the middle of the night." The Doc was concerned, "You mean, when you get up in the night to go to the bathroom, the Lord himself turns the light on for you?" "Yep," the old man said, "whenever I get up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for me." Well, the Doctor didn't say anything else, but when the old man's wife came in for her check-up, he felt he had to let her know what her husband said. "Your husband's in fine physical shape, but I'm worried about his mental condition. He told me that every night when he gets up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for him. " "He What?" She cried. "He said that every night when he gets up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for him." "AHA!!" She exclaimed.......... "So he's the one who's been peeing in the fridge!"

Joke of the day/Witz des Tages

Ein Einwohner aus Stockholm fährt zur Entenjagd aufs Land. Als er eine Ente sieht, zielt er und schießt. Doch der Vogel fällt auf den Hof eines Bauern, und der rückt die Beute nicht heraus. "Das ist mein Vogel", besteht der Städter auf seinem Recht. Der Bauer schlägt vor, den Streit, wie auf dem Land üblich, mit einem Tritt in den Unterleib beizulegen. "Wer weniger schreit, kriegt den Vogel." Der Städter ist einverstanden. Der Bauer holt aus und landet einen gewaltigen Tritt in den Weichteilen des Mannes. Der bricht zusammen und bleibt 20 Minuten am Boden liegen. Als er wieder aufstehen kann, keucht er: "Okay, jetzt bin ich dran." "Nee", sagt der Bauer im Weggehen. "Hier, nehmen Sie die Ente."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A resident of Stockholm goes to the duck hunting in the country. When he sees a duck, he aims and shoots. But the bird falls into the courtyard of a farmer, and brings out not the prey. "That's my bird," consists of the cities on its own. The farmer proposes to dispute, as is customary in the country to settle with a kick in the groin. "Who cries less, get the bird." The townspeople agree. The farmer gets out and lands a huge kick in the soft tissues of the man. The collapse and remains 20 minutes on the ground. When he can stand up again, he gasps: "Okay, now my turn." "No," the farmer says as he walks away. "Here, take the duck."

Joke of the day/Witz des Tages

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”

Joke of the week / Witz des tages

Sixirkii kismayo

Sanadkii 1974  ololihii barashada far soomaaliga aya laba ardey oo reer waqooyi ah loo diray gobolka jubada hoose ee kismaayo. waxaa laga dhaadhiciyey labadan arday in Kismaayo dadka lagu sixro oo waliba xoolo laga dhigo (dameer ama dibi ama wan). Waxay iska dhaaghiciyeen in haddi gabari ku jeclaato ay xayawaan ka dhigeyso si u weligiis uga tegin marka fejignaan saa’id ah ayey qabeen.

Labadii wiil hal qol ayey wada kireysteen ayago iska jira dhibatada kismaayo ku can baxday oo ah sixirka, oo weliba midba midka kale ayu ilaalo xoogan ka haya.

Habeen habeenada ka mid ah ayey qayilaad u fariisteen, waqti dambe ayaa sigaarkii ka go’ay, dabadeed mid baa yiri “I yara sug dukaanka ino dhaw ayaan sigaar nooga soo qabanayaye. Markii u tegey dukaanka ayu gabar kula kulmay, dabadeedna sheeko dheer ayu camirtay. Wiilkii kale ayaa daahsaday markaas ayu dibada u soo baxay. Wuxu arkay dameer guriga agtiisa daaqaya, intu naxay ayu wuxu u maleeyey saxibkiis oo dameer laga soo dhigay.

markaasuu dameerkii intuu u tagay ku yiri, Miyeey ku badaleen ma sidaan eyey kuu galeen wallaweyntii, halkeen adaa bal aqalka soo gal su dameerkii u riixaayay markii danbe dameerkii ayaa kacararay asoo yaaban ayuu aqalkii kusoo laabtay asagoo dhafoorada heysta ayaa waxaa albaabka soo garaacay saxiibkii oo ey la socoto gabadhii ey dukaanka isku soo barteen markuu kafuray ayuu yiri, “miyey hadana sidaadii kugu soo celisey, waa ilaah mahadii, oo ma tii ayaa ku daba socoto oo hadeer dameerka kaa dhigatay, naa na dhaaf haddad allaha taqaan”.

COL KU DHACYEY OO TUUGO KU CIDAMISAY Part 5

Geerida Osama, soomaaliya ma u fa’ida mise waa u qasaare?

Laga soo bilaabo 1991, markii safaradaha Nairobi iyo Daresalam la qarxiyey aya waxaa lala xariirinayey in  Osama soomaaliya ku lug lahaa, ha ahaato xag dhaqaalle ama xag afkaareedba.

Aniga waxay ila tahay in haddii Osama meesha ka baxay arrinta Soomaaliya ay ka soo rayn karto. Dhibaatada dabada dheeraatay ee soomaaliya waa arrin laga rabo in Somaliyi xalisato, la iskana ilaaliyo in u san dalku noqon meel quwaado shisheeye ku dagaalamaan. Waxaan wada ognahay in wadankeena ay ku dagaalamayaan alqacida iyo reer galbeed iyo weliba amxaaro iyo eriteria (Proxy wars), waa dagaalo meelo kale laga soo xawilay oo ummadeenu ku baaba’day.

Haddii aan rabno inaan qilaafkeena xalino waa inaan wada haddalnaa, oo dalkeena gudahiisa ku wada hadalnaa kadibna aan dawlad dhisanno. Waa inaan oganaa in aysan dawlad IGAD ama international community no soo dhistay iyo barlamaan naloo soo xulay dawlad noo noqoneyn ee loo bahanyahay inaan inta geedka hoostagno kala gar qaadano isna xaal marino sii ummadeena aan dhibka uga saarno.

Waa hubaal in aan Alqacida, IGAD, Ethiopia, Kenya ama International Community aysan xal waara noo keeneyn. Waxaa la joogaa Maantay xiligii aan dadkeena u turi lahayn oo dhibka ka saari lahayn.

Soomaaliyey aqligu waa inu shaqeeyo, sida aan ku jirno si ma aha, waxaan weli xasuusanaa oo qalbigeena kuwada yaal xasuuqyadii isdaba jooga aha ee beledweyne, hotel Shaamo, hotel muna iyo kuwii kale ee Amxaartu geysatey. Xassuqa shacabka Soomaaliyeed loo geystey, cid kasta ha geysato wax la iloobi karo ma aha. Hadda waxa la joogaa xiligii ay qoloyinka is hayaa saaxiga kenni lahayeen oo la wada hadli lahaa.

“RAG LA’AANI WAX KUMA YEESHEE, RAG XUMAA KU DISHA”

“Allahayoow Ferenjigii muxuu, nacas fariideeyey,

Faa'iido laawiyo muxuu nin ragga, feyl ka wada yeedhshay

Nimaan aabihiis fuuli jirin, faras muxuu saaray”. 

LIST OF SOMALI REGIONAL GOVERNMENTS

no	State	President	Location
1	TFG	Sh. Sharif Sh. ahmed	Mogadishu
2	Awdal Land	Not named yet	Diaspora (Qurba J oog)
3	SSC State	Dr. Saleban Ahmed (Xagle Tosiye)	Diaspora (Qurba Joog)
4	Galmudug State	Col. Moh’ed Ahmed Alin	Galkacyo
5	Som. Central State	Dr. Moh’ed H Abdi (Carabey)	Diaspora (Qurba Joog)
6	Puntland	Dr. A/rahman Faroole	Garowe
7	Ximan iyo Xeeb	Mudane Moh’d A. Adan Ticey	Adaado
8	Hiran State	Prof. Ali Abdi Gure	Diaspora (Qurba Joog
9	Hiran State	Eng. A/kadir Adan Jiraabey	Diaspora (Qurba Joog)
10	Hiran State	Dr. Mohamud Abdi Gaab	Diaspora (Qurba Joog)
11	South West State	Dr. Cali cabdi Abuukar "Baab"	Diaspora (Qurba Joog)
12	Azania State	aaaa     Prof. Moh’d A. Moh’ed Gaandi	Diaspora (Qurba Joog)
13	Juba Raas State	Eng. Abdulqadir Moh’ud Yusuf	Diaspora (Qurba Joog)
14	Jubaland	Mudane Moh’ed A. Nur Kilaas	Diaspora (Qurba Joog)
15	Ras caseyr State	Mr Farah M. Yusuf (Dooha)	Diaspora (Qurba Joog)
16	Makhir Land	Mr Jibril Ali Salad	Diaspora (Qurba Joog)
17	Mareeg State	Dr Moh’ed Haji	Diaspora (Qurba Joog)
18	Xam ar iyo Xamardaya	Mr Jabriil Xaaji Maxamuud	Diaspora (Qurba Joog)
19	Wareer iyo Waali State	Eng. Omar H. Yusuf	Diaspora (Qurba Joog)
20